


The Time You Wrote On the Street in Broad Daylight

by halfhardtorock



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banksy Niall (idek), Humor, M/M, car thief Zayn, cop Liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-01-03 11:25:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfhardtorock/pseuds/halfhardtorock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>idek, Liam Payne is an upright metropolitan police sergeant. Zayn is (sort of) a car thief and Niall is Banksy. Who can know?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Time You Wrote On the Street in Broad Daylight

**Author's Note:**

> Also, massively inspired by scottmcniceass's Copfic, Caught Up. (which is here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/774170)
> 
> And apologies for mangling British police culture.

The kid earns himself a nickname when CCTV footage captures him doing a victorious (and somewhat terrible) Moonwalk before he drives off in one of the three stolen Aventador LP 700-4s. Most of the lads call him The Walker, but several of the department point out that he's dancing so they call him The Dancer, and there are a few who just call him _fit as fuck_ , because the punk might not be an amazing dancer, but he's all compact muscle and dark hair and lean hips.

Liam just calls him a headache.

He's 6 months on this one, chasing the kid's snaky hips all over London, dealing with angry car collectors, frustrated CPS, ridiculing coworkers and his own nosy mum, who has her friends round on Sundays and will always sit him down for tea and ask him for an update on the handsome car thief. 

Of course, like it wasn't headache enough, the night he and Styles get close to catching the kid is the night he earns his first demerit. 

They chase the Audi R8 Spyder across town and then, like the worst kind of heist movie, they're cut-off by the longest freight train from Birmingham that Liam has ever seen.

He drops his head on the steering wheel just as Styles barks out a shocked "Bloody hell."

Liam peers up, and through the moving train cars he can see the Spyder parked there, on the other side of the tracks, lights ablaze. 

"What's he--?"

The kid is doing a shitty, celebratory Moonwalk in the headlights of his stolen car. 

"He doesn't even do it right!" Liam laments while Styles giggles.

He keeps it up until Liam can't take it anymore. "Oh. No. No. No," he mutters and jerks open his own car door, gets out.

"Payne!" Styles says in warning, but Liam is already unzipping his jacket, dropping it. 

"You're not even doing it right!" he shouts across the train so loud his voice cracks. The punk stops dancing to watch him, then holds up a hand to his ear, miming theatrically that he can't hear him.

So he shows the little shit how to dance. Keeps time with the beat of the train's roll. First the Moonwalk and then the Running Man for a second because he _can_.

When he's done, he looks and the kid is bent over, hands on his knees. Laughing.

"Oh, shut up," Liam mutters, face flushing hot. 

The kid waves, and before climbing into the stolen Spyder, he blows Liam a kiss.

Liam drags his jacket on angrily and gets back in the car as the Spyder tears off again, disappears.

Styles is looking at him with a crooked grin. 

"What?" he snaps. 

Styles reaches over and pets the in-car camera.

"Ohhhhhhh," Liam groans. "No."

 

 

"Yes," Inspector Tomlinson insists.

"I thought the constables were in charge of the cadet outreach programs," Liam says.

"Nope. Just department embarrassments who get caught dancing on camera for twocers."

Liam puts his face in his hands.

"Three months isn't going to kill you, Sergeant," and then Tomlinson sighs. "We know you're a good officer. You're a model officer. Compared to Styles, you're almost perfect--"

"Hey!" Styles blusters.

"--just keep your head down, do your work and this will all blow over."

 

 

It's just the _second week_. Everything was going so well. (It has to be a record.) 

He pops round to pick up Cadet Malik at her mum's and gets invited in for breakfast.

He takes off his hat, offers the Cadet's mom a compliment on her beautiful house and then he's getting fussed over by Doniya's sisters. One pours him tea while Doniya and her mum put some toast down and scramble some eggs. He's politely evading a full fry-up when Doniya's mum says "Sweetheart, get some clothes on, we have company--"

Liam turns to look, blushes when he sees the bedheaded man standing there in his red plaid boxers and black tank-top, scrubbing his face. He's got beautiful tattoos up and down his bare arms, over his chest and Liam is about to avert his eyes when the kid drops his hands and looks at him with sleepy confusion.

Liam jolts out of his chair so suddenly, his tea clatters, splashes across his lap.

"Mummmm!" the boy cries out, eyes widening. "What's _he_ doing here?!"

"It's you," Liam says, shocked. They stare at each other for a beat and then Liam sterns his jaw and starts coming around the table.

"Oh, Zayn," his mum sighs "What did you do now--"

"You're under arrest--" Liam starts and Zayn gives a little snort of disbelief, says "I really don't think so, mate."

"You can't talk like that to my boss!" Doniya says, outraged.

Zayn's eyes widen and he laughs then. "You're her boss? You're working the cadet program now? That's a step down for you."

Doniya makes a loud, frustrated noise and Liam goes _hot_ all over, under his collar, knows his whole face is stained with a blush. Zayn's still laughing when Liam tries to reach over the counter to grab him.

"I'm not letting no cut-rate cadet program officer bring me in," Zayn says, avoiding every single attempt Liam makes to grab him, those snaky hips jerking away.

"Zayn, what did you do?" his mother says sharply and catches Zayn's attention just long enough for Liam to catch the kid by the collar of his tank top.

"No, no!" Zayn argues, and does some kind of slithery move, right out of his shirt. He disappears out the kitchen, leaving Liam there, holding his clothes. 

Liam drops his shirt and clambers after him, out the back door and into a quiet street.

The kid's plaid boxers flash in front of him and Liam can keep up easy, runs yelling "I'm adding indecent exposure to your list of charges!" 

The kid books it around a corner and down a tree-lined avenue where the only person about is an old man and his pug. Liam excuses himself as he passes the man, who just stands there, staring off after Zayn with his mouth dropped open in surprise.

Around another corner and his lungs are starting to ache when Zayn shouts "Ow, fuck!" and does a roll into someone's front garden. Liam lands on him with a nice, solid _thud_ and fumbles for his speedcuffs.

"I stepped on glass, you wanker! Get off me! I'm bleeding!" Zayn cries out underneath him. Liam lifts off to look and gets a sharp elbow to the crotch for it.

Liam rolls away, clutching himself between the legs, grimacing. 

"I wasn't joking, though. I stepped on glass," Zayn says, out of breath, sounding a little apologetic.

" _Right_ ," Liam wheezes.

The kid's lean, tattooed chest is jumping with his quick inhales and exhales, his face sweaty. Liam watches him through hurt eyes, how the kid raises an eyebrow, lifts his bare foot up and shows Liam his bloody heel.

"You shouldn't have run," Liam says throatily, forcing himself to let go of his smarting crotch and sit up.

"Ow ow ow--" Zayn says, upset, pretty face all lined with pain. "The glass is still in there."

Liam eases over with his lip in his teeth, carefully takes the kid's ankle in hand. 

"Careful!" the kid says, voice high.

"I know," Liam says.

"Ow, _gentle_!" 

"I know," Liam says, softer. And with a smooth motion, he pulls the jagged piece of glass out of Zayn's foot.

"Damnit, ow," Zayn moans, and when Liam looks up at him, his face is all woeful. 

Liam pulls his clean handkerchief out of his pocket, presses it firmly to the bleeding wound.

"You carry a hankie? My grandmum carries a hankie," Zayn says.

"It's not...shut up," Liam snaps and glares the kid into silence.

Then he holds the kid's delicate ankle still while he keeps the wound compressed.

After a few minutes, Zayn nudges him with his other foot. "You like my dancing?"

Liam looks up at him again, sees the teasing way his mouth tugs up at the corner. Cheeky flirt. "No. You're a terrible dancer."

"You're not so hot either," Zayn says.

"I'm a _great_ dancer," Liam argues.

Zayn laughs then, shaking his head fondly. "No."

Liam rolls his eyes. "Whatever. I can't believe this whole...I can't believe I have to arrest _Cadet Malik's_ brother today." He lets his disappointment weigh his words.

Zayn's eyes widen. "S'not fair, I'm wounded! I don't even get a fighting chance!"

"You just ran me two blocks. I think that is the definition of a fighting chance."

"It's not my fault there was glass there! That's littering--"

"You were running barefoot!" 

Zayn flops down on his back, mouth set. "Fine. Just...break my mum's heart."

Liam groans, exasperated.

"Just take me in in my pants. Let my mum see me on the news like this. My hairs not even done. Do you know what happens to pretty boys in their pants in jail--?"

" _Zayn_ ," Liam groans, swatting him. "Stop."

"Just ruin my mum's life. Doniya's chances at being a cadet--" Zayn goes on, so Liam puts his hand over the kid's mouth. 

He gets his palm licked crudely for it.

"Augh!" he complains, pulling his hand back and ends up with a lapful of skinny, tattooed car thief. 

"I was lying, you are a good dancer," Zayn tells him earnestly, and then presses a small kiss to Liam's cheek. "Take care of my mum for me, you pillock."

Liam stares at him, shocked at the kiss.

" _Yeah_ ," Zayn breathes. "You know, you're quite good-looking for a cop."

And then he's kissing Liam on the mouth and Liam is whimpering a little, surprised.

 

Ms. Malik finds them like that, making out in someone's front garden. She honks the horn from her car and her son flails off of Liam's lap.

Liam wipes his wet mouth with the back of his hand hastily, blushing.

Zayn's hair is a wreck. _His_ hair is a wreck, Liam can feel it. And Zayn's not wearing nearly enough clothes to hide the fact that he's a little boned up in his pants.

Liam stares at him in horror.

"If you're done molesting Officer Payne, would you please get inside before someone sees you!" Ms. Malik says.

Zayn pushes off the ground, blushing a little himself now. He hobbles over to the car, careful on his hurt foot. Liam gets up too, clears his throat. Tucks his uniform shirt back in.

"In the car with you too, Officer Payne," Zayn's mother says firmly. 

"Yes, Ms. Malik," Liam says, sheepish. He gets in the car with her son in the back seat.

Zayn snorts at the sight of him. 

On the way back to the Malik house, he fiddles his thumbs together, hunched over, trying not to look at Zayn and his fat, kiss-swollen lips.

 

"What's this about, then?" Ms. Malik asks after Zayn puts some trousers on and she's set them down at her table.

Zayn runs his hands through his hair, sighs. "I might have stolen a few cars."

She whacks him with a wooden spoon. "Christsakes, mum! It's not like that!"

"What's it like then?" she asks.

Zayn looks at Liam and Liam raises an eyebrow, waiting. So Zayn mutters "It was for Niall."

They're quiet for a second and then Liam sputters " _Niall_. The street artist."

"Yeah?" Zayn says, giving him a look. "So?"

Ms. Malik catches her son's chin, makes him look at her. "What do you mean, you were stealing cars for Niall??"

Zayn exhales slowly. "The whole thing. It's...it's this whole thing. Niall's already got the details worked out with the car owners. The whole thing is...the police reports, CCTV, the newspaper articles. It's all a big conceptual art piece on crime sensationalism and metropolitan police corruption, except you had to go be bloody _perfect_ , the most perfect copper _ever_ \--"

"Zayn," his mum warns, and Zayn slumps back in his seat like an irritable teenager, arms crossed over his bare chest. 

Liam takes it all in with a scrunched face and then finally says "What?"

"Do you remember when the owner of that stolen jag tried to give you a little 'tip' as an extra motivator--?" Zayn says, and rubs his fingers together.

Liam's mouth falls open. "How did you know that?"

Zayn rolls his eyes. "Because Niall sent him and all you did was shut that plonker down."

Liam stares off into space.

"The guy had a camera. You said, and I quote, 'no, thank you. Could you please, please not do that.' Niall laughed for like, weeks."

Liam can feel himself blushing again. "B-but why didn't you say? When I was chasing you?"

Zayn snorts at him, still shirtless, body a smooth curl of lazy muscle. "Because it's _Niall_. It's supposed to be under the radar, yeah?"

Liam gestures wildly. "But you told your mum!"

"Because she's _my mum_ ," Zayn says, rolling his eyes like it's obvious.

"Well, you're just going to have to give me Niall or I'm bringing you up on charges," Liam tells him, voice severe.

Zayn makes a disgusted face and then yelps when his mum smacks his ear with the spoon. "I will! Ok? I'll bring you to Niall."

 

 

It's one of those airy, reclaimed industrial spaces, a warehouse all hollowed out of machinery and the first thing Liam sees when he walks in is a massive screen print of his frowning mug.

"Good god," Liam says, taken aback.

"Oh. Yeah um. You're kind of central to the...the whole--the whole--" but Liam is already walking along the wall, gaping at a large, crude painting of him as Saint Sebastian, eyes cast upwards in agony. 

He stares at it for a long time while Zayn makes worried noises beside him. "It's not really how I see you anymore."

Liam looks at him. " _You_ did this??"

"Yeah, so?" Zayn says defensively.

Liam's eyebrows lift. "Well. It's just...very good."

Zayn lights up. "Yeah?"

"I mean, I'm not an artist--" Liam starts to say but then pauses when he sees a vivid painting of what looks like him dancing in his uniform in the street. 

Zayn's grin is massive. 

Liam grimaces. "I can't believe you made me do that."

"It was one of the highlights of my career as a car thief. I wish I had a photo."

Liam clears his throat. "There might have been an in-car camera that night." 

"What?"

"It's why I'm on cadet duty. There was a recording--"

"Oh my god," Zayn is laughing, dying. "Oh my god, Officer Payne."

"It's...Liam," Liam says awkwardly, palming at the back of his neck.

" _Leeyum_ ," Zayn laughs, accent heavy, eyes all soft. 

 

 

Niall is a smug-looking blond with a cheeky smile. He's wearing dark wayfarers when Zayn introduces Liam.

"My project is almost done, Officer. What can we do to earn your cooperation?"

"Well, that doesn't sound dodgy--" Liam mutters.

Zayn elbows him in the side.

Liam shrugs then. "I'd rather you didn't break the law. Faking a crime is as illegal as committing a crime. Sort of. A-and maybe no more car chases--" He eyes Zayn and Zayn bites his lip at him. 

Niall smiles. "We can promise that." 

Liam looks around and gestures at the massive screen print of his face. "Um. Not _so_ excited about my mum seeing that."

Niall laughs.

 

On Monday, the grainy video of him doing the Moonwalk next to a moving train goes missing.

He finds out when Styles skids into his office with a _look_ on his face, goes to jerk the blinds open on the window.

"What is it now?" Liam wonders, jumping up. 

Styles drags him over and they both look out the window together. Liam draws up the sash to duck out and get a clearer view.

Someone had graffitied **I FUCKING LOVE YOU** in giant blocky letters in the street.

"That wasn't there this morning," he says stupidly.

"Look, the paints still wet. Someone must have just done it!" Styles says, excited.

"How did someone--? Someone did that in broad daylight. In front of a police station."

"It's _wonderful_. Bloody fucking marvelous," Styles breathes.

"It's _illegal_ ," Liam says.

"Ugh, Payne," Styles groans. And then "Wait, Tomlinson wants you. He was asking if you've seen that tape of your dance-off."

Liam makes a face. "No. I told you I'm not watching that. I'd get all embarrassed--"

"No, he wants to know if you moved it. It's gone missing."

"It's gone missing??" Liam wonders.

"Yeah. Nobody checked it out, but it's not in evidence anymore."

Liam looks back at the street, eyebrows rising.

 

Cadet Malik invites him in again for breakfast, a tentative smile on her face as she lets him in to the foyer. Everyone in the family is a bit confused about what went on with Office Payne and the Malik boy.

He smiles at her warmly and wants to assure her that it was nothing, really. Just some confusion that's been sorted.

He goes to say so but there's a thunder of feet on the stairs beside him and Zayn appears in his boxers again, hair mussed, eyes all wild.

He vaults the last two steps, takes Liam's face in warm palms and kisses him.

Liam groans into his mouth in surprise, eyes shuddering closed.

There's just a bare stroke of tongue before Zayn pops off with a breathless "Up, come on. Into my room with you."

"Zayn, you can't just take my commanding officer to your room! He's supposed to bring me to work!" Doniya argues as Zayn pulls him stumbling up the stairs. 

"W-what are we--?" Liam asks at the top but then moans loudly when Zayn backs him into the wall and nips at the birthmark on his throat, traces it with his tongue. 

"God you're noisy. Well, you're going to have to keep quiet because my mum is downstairs--"

"--Zayn! Did you bring Officer Payne up to your room!?" his mother calls up to them.

"No, mum! Of course not!" Zayn shouts back and then with his bottom lip in his teeth, he drags Liam into his room, shoves him into his bed and slams the door.

"He did! MUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Doniya wails.

 

 

"Ohfuck oh my god, fuck," Liam sobs, sweat dappling his brow.

"Shhh. You have to be _quiet_ , Liam!" Zayn chastises him. And then goes back to bobbing on his cock, plush mouth moving.

There's a sharp rap at the door. "--Zayn?"

Zayn darts up and slaps a hand over Liam's mouth. Liam's eyes widen as Zayn puts a finger to his own wrecked mouth and shushes him again.

"Yes, mum?" he calls, and then his eyes trail back to the mess he's made. Liam's trousers are open and jerked down awkwardly to his upper thighs, his cock twitching precome all over the place.

Zayn tongues at his bottom lip while he looks, making Liam whimper behind his hand.

"Just...let Officer Payne come back down in a bit, hm?" she says, sighing.

"Yes, mum," Zayn agrees and with a pointed look, he frees Liam's mouth.

Then he turns his attention back to Liam's cock, his eyes going all heavy-lidded and ardent. 

"Zayn," Liam begs.

"I know, love," Zayn murmurs. He soothes a hand up Liam's thigh and swallows him down again.


End file.
